


Despair's Reality

by Despairic



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood Loss, Despair/Hope Junko, F/F, I'd suggest not reading this if it triggers you, Junkan - Freeform, One-Shot, Sad boi hours, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Vent Writing, graphic depictions of self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:47:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29407167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Despairic/pseuds/Despairic
Summary: “Stay with me, Junko.. D-Don’t close your eyes, whatever you do.. Please.. Y-You’re gonna be okay, my beloved.. I.. I promise..”
Relationships: Enoshima Junko/Tsumiki Mikan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Despair's Reality

**Author's Note:**

> So... I had a pretty bad episode last night, yay me.. But in the process I wrote out this story after all was said and done in hopes maybe it might help me collect my thoughts. I mean, instead I just sobbed for a good long time, but.. Per usual, I share my despairic (puhuhu pun intended) side with the community. So, yeah..

_ It stared back at her, almost as if it were mocking her. _

Scarlet red eyes blinked as she looked at the scene before her. For a second, she didn’t really think she was there. From the outside looking in, it seemed and felt far too bizarre to be real, but of course, Junko knew it was real. Scarlet red stared right back up at her, matching her eyes as she swallowed hard, already starting to feel lightheaded. Maybe she hadn’t meant to have gone as deep as she did, but there wasn’t any turning back at that point. Soft laughs left the despairic fashionista as she took a step back, her hand going out to reach for the wall. Behind black rimmed glasses, she watched herself in the mirror for a moment, seeing the way the blood stained her formally pastel pink t-shirt. Her throat was going dry by the second as she swallowed each lump that formed, but try as she liked, there was no making it go away. Whining quietly, she looked around, the realization of what she had just done hitting her like a train. With her legs caving in beneath her, she slid down the wall, tears slipping down her cheeks as she opened her mouth, desperately trying to call out for the one person that would probably be able to hear her.  _ Her girlfriend.. Who was dead asleep in their bed.. _

_ “M..Mikan!” _

The cry left Junko louder than she thought it would have, her voice finally giving out as sobs wracked her petite form. Pressing into the wall, she almost wondered if it would be able to swallow her whole. It was a childish thought, but from how lightheaded she was feeling, she was certain the ground would probably be swallowing her up sometime soon. Gritting her teeth at the agonizing pain, she swore she heard movement outside of the door but she wasn’t too certain. As un-anxious as the fashionista made herself out to be, she knew how these moments went with Mikan. It terrified her to no end and she knew she had promised the nurse she wouldn’t hurt herself. Junko hadn’t even made an attempt to cry to the nurse for help before cutting herself open. That’s simply how she was.. Whether she liked it or not, in the end, the feelings always swallowed her whole to the point where she simply had no control. Swallowing what was left of her sanity, she cried out again, begging to god someone in the house might hear at that point.

_ “Help me! F..For the love of god.. S-Someone!” _

She was seeing black and blue in her vision, a hand going to her head as blood slipped between her fingers. Junko saw the red spots on her lenses, a shaken laugh leaving her as she just shook her head. For all of the despair she wanted to experience in life, this was it, huh? The despair of dying alone in her bathroom, left with no one but herself.. As nice as it sounded, something kept her crying out. A forgotten feeling perhaps, but it kept her striving for her life.. For once,  _ Junko didn’t want to die.  _ With bloody hands, she pressed at the wall, watching the way the blood smeared against it as she struggled to get back on her feet. Her arms were straight cut, from her wrist down to the bend in her arm. Blood poured out like it was no one’s business, and she swore that would be it. Yet.. The handle to the door jiggled and her head turned. 

“J-Junko?! Junko, o-open the door!”

The frantic cry on the other side was her last shot. As much as she was struggling, Junko reached for the door, watching the way the blood nearly poured out of her arm. Crying through the pain, she forced a hand on it, just barely managing to turn the lock before her head crashed against it, her weight pressing the door shut. Whining out, she knew she needed to move, but as much as she wanted to, her body slowly started feeling numb.  _ Huh.. So that’s what it feels like..  _ Akin to when an arm or a leg falls asleep, Junko felt the feeling course through her arm and the pain that came with it was immeasurable. From the numbness, to the frigid bite of death clawing at her person, Junko coughed, gagging at the harsh scent filling the bathroom. With the window open, it didn’t even seem to help as she felt the door struggle to open.

“J-Junko, P-please!”

She heard the crying on the other side of the door, her hand pressing against the floor as she chuckled quietly, shaking her head. Junko had little to no energy left at that point, her body refusing to move as she looked at the bathroom floor. Blood pooled against the tiles, staining the once lavender rug as she forced herself the best she could. Junko all but threw herself to the floor, not caring about the way her head smacked against the tiles, her breaths leaving her short and barely full. The minute the door opened though, she heard the small, frantic cry and soon the footsteps that sounded throughout her head. From her spot, Junko couldn’t exactly see much, her vision far too blurry to focus on one thing at a time. Her mind was slowly leaving her by the second and all she could do was smile in the face of death.  _ This is what she wanted.. Then why did it hurt to leave so fucking bad..?  _

“Junko, stay with me, Hon, can you hear me?”

She didn’t even realize her head had been rested in someone’s lap. Slowly looking up, Junko blinked her scarlet reds, finding terrified purple looking down at her. All she could do was sleepily smile, her body begging her to give up this tireless fight. Try as it wanted, for some reason, Junko wanted to stay. Seeing the tears slip down her beloved’s face.. Her heart seemed to eat itself alive as she grinned, blood adorning her features as tears fell into the mix soon enough. Blinking her eyes, slowly she started to feel nothing, little by little. Noise sounded all around her and she knew her body was being moved around, but she couldn’t feel it. Glancing down, she saw just how much she had bled out, her eyes threatening to close before she heard the sharp snap close to her ear.

“Stay with me, Junko.. D-Don’t close your eyes, whatever you do.. Please.. Y-You’re gonna be okay, my beloved.. I.. I promise..”

Through gritted teeth, she listened to the nurse dish out her promise, and all Junko could do was blink in response. Even if she knew somehow she would be okay coming out of this all, something didn’t want her to be. The amount of trauma that would come with this, the pain and lack of trust that would follow.. Junko saw the pain written out in Mikan’s eyes, knew that nothing would ever be the same after this.. Who was she to get to live after causing her so much pain?  _ Would it have been worse to die..? Or live, letting her know that she just wasn’t enough of a reason to keep me alive..?  _ The thought seemed to echo throughout Junko’s mind as she weakly smiled, a shaky hand going to reach up before she saw the cut glaring back at her. It was deep.. Terribly deep and she already noted how Mikan had done her best to try and keep it down, applying pressure where she could without hurting Junko far too much. The door to the bathroom was open, figures standing in the doorway as Junko barely even was able to see who they were. She saw one face though.. 

“J..Junko..”

She heard the shattered tone, and she couldn’t even utter a single word. Lavender eyes looked at her, pain tearing her apart from the inside out. Junko knew the look her sister wore when the world had too much to offer. Despair was a fickle little beyotch, but they made it work most of the time.. 

_ Looking around as the breeze ran through her hair, Junko let out a soft sigh, humming quietly. The idea to go on a walk had been Mukuro’s idea, ‘anything to get out of the house’, she had said. It didn’t bother Junko one bit, getting out was always nice. With Mikan hard at work at the hospital, she would take the moment with her twin, enjoying the breeze as it ran through the trees around them. Smiling brightly, she turned on her heels before she watched her twin stop in her tracks. The look she wore was one Junko knew well, and that made her freeze. A carefree time wasn’t quite what she was after, huh? With her hands having been behind her head, Junko didn’t even realize the way her sleeves had fallen down, cuts glaring at her twin almost as if they were the soldier’s fault. _

_ “Junko..?” _

_ Her voice was quiet, strained, but Junko heard the pain in it all the same. Lowering her arms from her head, she took a small step back, almost as if she were going to get hit for her stupidity, but Junko knew better. Gentle hands reached for her own, and the tears already forming in her twin’s eyes made her shake her head. _

_ “No, no, no, I-I’m fine, Mukuro, really--” _

_ “Cutting yourself to fucking shreds isn’t fine, Junko!”  _

_ The words were nearly cried out as Mukuro took her twin’s hands, pulling up her sleeves whether she liked it or not. With no one on the trail but them, Mukuro looked at the cuts her twin had to offer before forcing cashmere blues to look back into concerned lavender. When she was certain she had her twin’s attention, she waited. Mukuro knew Junko knew what was going through her head and soon enough she saw the way the younger fashionista cracked at the seams. With tears pressing at the backs of those beautiful blues, Mukuro swallowed hard. She didn’t want to see her cry, but Mukuro needed to get it through her beautiful head that she had fucked up, and one of these days? One of these days ‘fucking up’ will be the last thing she ever did. _

* * *

Everything sounded so far away, yet somehow so close. Scarlet reds blinked open slowly, her breaths slow and barely present as she realized a hand was holding her. Bright lights assaulted her eyes, and soon enough she realized where she was. It didn’t click quite yet, but Junko knew she was in a moving vehicle, an ambulance more than likely. The hand in her own belonged to her beloved, and as she had opened her eyes, she felt lips pressing to the top of her forehead, a silent prayer to God asking for her to be okay.  _ For the love of Hope, she supposed..  _

_ “Please… Don’t leave me..” _

She heard the words as clear as day, and Junko wanted to open her mouth to respond, to promise her beloved she was going nowhere.. But nothing came out.. The despair of not being able to say a word, to reassure your loved one’s that you would be fine.  _ How could you ever reassure them when you didn’t even know if you’d wake up the next day?  _ She was on her way to a hospital, sure, she could survive, but the amount of blood she had lost was atrocious. Junko couldn’t even keep her eyes open for more than the span she had listened to Mikan cry over her slowly freezing form. Soon enough she swore everything would go black and that would be it, but something kept screaming to her that it wouldn’t be the case.  _ A whisper in the wind perhaps.. But this isn’t how you’ll meet your maker.  _ In her head she absentmindedly nodded, thanking whatever being had promised her so, but Junko swore it was lying..


End file.
